When should I mail out wedding invitations?
How far in advance should a save-the-date be sent out, and do I need to have them?
Approximately Four Months to a Year.
Even though they are not required they are very helpful for guests planning vacations and other events, especially if it is a destination wedding.
What information is required on a wedding invitation or announcement?
Who is doing the inviting (Parents or Couple themselves)
Who is getting married
Date, Time, Place
Recommended attire for guests (optional)
Reception information (optional)
RSVP information (unless it is included as a separate card)
Do we have to send invitations to the people in our wedding party?
Suggested wording:
General Envelope Information
It is traditional to use the complete, formal name and address of your invited guests.
For instance, Mr. and Mrs. Robert Lewis Smith
Use full name when known. If not known, do not use initials, simply omit.
It is also traditional to spell out Avenue, Road, and Street as well as State name.
If you are providing reply cards, it is traditional to place a postage stamp on the reply envelopes to make it as easy as possible for your guests to respond.
How do I address inner envelopes?
A Married Couple's inner envelope is addressed to: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" with neither their first names nor addresses. (Inner)Mr. and Mrs. Smith
When the invitation is addressed to several young children the inner envelope is addressed to: "Jessica, Saul and Shaun."
If an envelope is addressed to the parents and a young daughter, her name is written on the inner envelope below her parents' name:
Mr. and Mrs. AndersonMiss Anne Anderson
An intimate relative may be addressed on the inner envelope as "Aunt Kate and Uncle Reid" or "Grandmother"
When the invitation is sent to an unmarried couple living at the same address, their names are placed on two lines:
Ms. Victoria FranksMr. John Doe
If the person invited is encouraged to bring a guest, the inner envelope is written:
Brittany and GuestorMr. John Greenum and Guest
How do I address outer envelopes?
Wedding invitations are always addressed to both members of a married couple.
Invitations to an unmarried couple are addressed to “Ms. Mary French” and “Mr. John Burns,” with each name appearing on separate lines.
A person's middle name may or may not be used, but if it is, it must be written out in full.
Children over 18 should if possible receive separate invitations.
Young brothers and sisters may be sent a joint invitation to "The Misses" or "The Messrs Jones":
The Messrs. JonesThe Misses Jones
18 and Over:
(Outer)Ms. (or Miss) Juliet Kinder
1234 West 123 StreetAny Town, Any State 84105(Inner)The Misses Kinder
Children of the same household:
(Outer)Mr. Matthew KinderMr. Austin Kinder1234 West 123 StreetAny Town, Any State 84105(Inner)The Messrs. Kinder
If the children are not to receive a separate invitation, then they may be written below the parents names on the inner envelope.
Single friends with a guest invited: when using an inner envelope, the "and guest" should not appear on the outside envelope. (Outer)Ms. Sheryl Jones(Inner)Ms. Sheryl Jones and Guest
What information should I include on a wedding invitation?
Who is doing the inviting (Parents or Couple themselves)
Who is getting married
Date, Time, Place (all spelled out, except when a long address is given)
Recommended attire for guests (optional)
When writing the recommended attire at a social black tie event, the “t” in “tie” is not capitalized:
Black tieorBlack tie optional
Reception information (optional)
What is the most common wording for an invitation?
The most common invitation is typically given by the bride's parents. If the wedding is in a church or synagogue, then the term "Request the honour of your presence" is used. The invitation may look something like this:
Mr. and Mrs. David John Dunnrequest the honour of your presenceat the marriage of their daughterSusan MaytoDavid Ray PorterSaturday, the third of JuneTwo thousand and fourat four o'clock in the afternoonPark City Community ChurchPark City, UtahReception to followorDinner and Dancing to follow
These days many brides are electing to delete the "Mr." before the groom's name.
If the wedding is not held at a church or synagogue: Instead of "request the honour of your presence" then "request the pleasure of your company" should be used
Mr. and Mrs. Heath Edwin Leerequest the pleasure of your companyat the marriage of their daughterEllen LouisetoMr. Steven Ryan MaronySaturday, the fifteenth of MayTwo thousand and fiveat half past six o'clockLa Posada de AlbuquerqueAlbuquerque, New Mexico
The parent's names may be worded using both of their first names (Carolyn and David Dunn) or using Mr. and Mrs. with the husband's first and last name (Mr. and Mrs. David John Dunn)
Avoid putting the address of the location in the invitation unless it is necessary. For example, if there is more than one church in the area, or it is not a well known location
What information should I include on a reception card?
Reception information can be included in the invitation or as a separate insert with the invitation. Reception cards should always be used when the reception is being held at a different place than the ceremony.
A reception card may look like this:
Dinner and Dancingat six o'clockTop of the Town1400 North 14th StreetArlington, Virginia*
(*Please note that the address is optional) orDinner and Dancingto follow the ceremonyTrail Creek RanchWilson, WyomingorReceptionimmediately following the ceremonyThe Inn at Spanish BayPebble Beach, California
A wedding invitation can include both the wedding and reception information if they are both at the same site. Wording for this may say: Carol and John Collinsrequest the honour of your presenceat the marriage of their daughterSarah BrooktoGary ConnorFriday, the twenty fourth of Octoberat half past seven in the eveningBay Shore Country ClubSan Francisco, CaliforniaReception to follow
How do I word an invitation when the couple is doing the inviting?
There are a few different ways to word a wedding invitation when the couple is doing the inviting: Together with their families/parentsJoy GoldsmithandEric Reiserinvite you to sharein the celebration of their marriage ... orTogether with their families/parentsJoy GoldsmithandEric Reiserrequest the honour of your presence ...orMary Kate PetersonandGeorge Daniel Mooretogether with their families/parentsinvite you to share with themthe joy of their marriage
or Mary Kate PetersonandGeorge Daniel Moorerequest the honour of your presence
at their marriage
How do I word an invitation for a gay marriage or a commitment ceremony?
The invitation for a gay marriage or commitment ceremony should reflect the type of wedding or party that the couple is having. As in all invitations, it sets the tone and gets people excited to attend the event. The invitation can be done in many ways with either formal wording or more casual and contemporary wording. Here are some examples:
The pleasure of your company is requestedat the marriage ofMelissa June MartinandHeather Trisha SmithorJeremy Austin Lake&Roger Jacob Wolcottrequest the honour of your presenceat their commitment ceremonySaturday, the twentieth of Octobertwo thousand sevenat half past five in the eveningSecond Congregational ChurchBennington, VermontorPaul FinchandDaniel McVayinvite you to join them incelebrating their union orRobert Eliot MarcusandJonathan Rosefeldrequest the pleasure of your company at their marriageSunday, the seventeenth of SeptemberTwo thousand and sixat five in the eveningThe WillardWashington, District of ColumbiaDinner and Dancing to follow
Black tie
orTonya and Jeffrey LancasterMary and Calvin Bennettinvite you to share their joy when their daughtersJustina and Lanaexchange vowson Saturday, the thirtieth of SeptemberTwo thousand and sixfour in the afternoonCatalyst RanchChicago, IllinoisFood and festivities to follow the ceremony
How do I word an invitation when both the bride and groom's parents are mentioned?
When both of the parents' names are at the top of the invitation, then it can imply that both parents are contributing to the cost of the wedding. Some examples of this would be:
Mr. and Mrs. John SummersandMr. and Mrs. Robert Allenrequest the pleasure of your companyat the marriage of their childrenEllen AnnandBruce DavidorMr. and Mrs. John SummersandMr. and Mrs. Robert Allenrequest the honour of your presenceat the marriage of their children
Some people want to acknowledge both sets of parents. In that case, both names can still be put in the invitation. Wording on this invitation may look like this:
Mr. and Mrs. Bryan Thompsonrequest the honour of your presenceat the marriage of their daughterWilma SharontoMr. Jason Elliottson ofMr. and Mrs. Douglas BradleySaturday, the seventh of JuneTwo thousand and eightat three o'clock in the afternoonGrace Lutheran ChurchScottsdale, Arizona
Another way to acknowledge who is paying for the reception would be to include those names on the reception card. For example:
Mr. and Mrs. John Summers Mr. and Mrs. Robert Allen
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding receptionimmediately following the ceremony
Mystic Seaport
Mystic, Connecticut
How do I word an invitation with divorced parents?
Etiquette is meant as a guide for good taste and consideration of everyone’s feelings. Under the circumstances of divorced parents, the individual may use wording that they feel is appropriate for their situation, and does not need to adhere to strict etiquette rules. If you have any questions please Contact Us.
If only one of the bride's parents is giving the wedding, then it can be worded with only his/her name. Each situation is different though, and sometimes families elect to include both, even if only one parent is paying .
If both of the divorced parents are giving the wedding together, then both names should be mentioned, with separate lines for their names. It is not proper to put an “and” between the names, but etiquette in these circumstances is meant as a guide. The size of the invitation and your personal preference may dictate whether the "and" is included. The mother of the bride uses her first, maiden and married last name (if she has kept her married name). Here is an example:
Mrs. Shelby Anderson (maiden name) Quinn Mr. Patrick Kyle Quinn
request the honour of your presence
If the mother has resumed her maiden name the wording would be without a title, and all titles would be omitted from the invitation. An example:
Shelby Lynn Anderson Patrick Kyle Quinnrequest the honour of your presence
It is most proper for only the bride’s parents to issue the invitation, since they are the ones “giving her away” at the marriage. The invitation is not about who is paying for the wedding. However, if you wish to include both parents, they are remarried and are giving the wedding together all of the names may be mentioned in the invitation.
Here is an example:
Mr. and Mrs. Trevor Goldring Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Quinnrequest the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Cynthia Lynn Goldring (in this case include the last name of the bride)
How do we word the invitation when people of different faiths are getting married?
The wording is the same whether you are of the same faith or not. There is no reason to highlight that two people of different faiths are getting married
How do we say that no children are allowed at weddings?
This is a very touchy subject for some people. It is never appropriate to put "no children" on the invitation. The name(s) on the envelope indicate the people that are invited. If a child or children are not on the envelope, they are not invited. In our experience, a few phone calls can be made to spread the word if you feel that it is necessary.
How do I address an envelope when I only want to invite one person and not have them bring a guest?
Unless an invitation is addressed with the person's name accompanied by "and guest", then it implies that only that one person is invited. The name(s) written on the envelope are the only ones invited to the wedding, so hopefully your guest knows that rule.
How do I word an envelope when inviting a couple, but they don't live together?
One option is to send two invitations . Another option is to send the invitation to one of the houses and put both of their names on the envelope.
How do I word an invitation when the church list is bigger than the reception list?
When the guest list for the church is larger than the reception list, then a separate reception card is enclosed to those invited to the reception.
How do I word an invitation when someone is invited to only the reception?
One option is having two separate invitations. One invitation will have the reception information and the wedding information and the other one will only have the reception information .
The other, less costly option is having the main invitation that invites them to the reception. A smaller card (the size of a reception card) can be inserted with the wedding invitation. Text may look something like this:
George and Anita Allenrequest the pleasure of your companyat the wedding receptionof their daughterAmber LouiseandBerkley Wofford
The insert to invite guests to the wedding reception can be worded differently depending on each situation. Please call a Customer Service Representative with questions.
How do I word an invitation when the bride/groom only has one living parent?
The invitation should be issued by the name of the surviving parent. It is not proper to include the deceased parent, even it is a thoughtful gesture.
Technically it is only the host that is giving the invitation and it introduces a note of sadness to the event that is not desired. If it is a widow who issues the invitation, and she has not remarried, it will have her first, maiden and married name preceded by “Mrs.” If the widow has remarried, she uses “Mrs.” Followed by her current husband’s name.
In this case, the bride would use her full name, and it is not preceded by “Miss” The wedding program is an appropriate place to include the deceased. Only in Hispanic cultures is the deceased parent mentioned on the invitation.
How do I word an invitation if the bride/groom is an orphan?
In this case, wording for the couple doing the inviting would apply. If a relative or friend is doing the inviting, then the invitation can include his/her name:
Mr. and Mrs. Paul John Carreyrequest the pleasure of your companyat the marriage oftheir niece
How do I word an invitation when the bride/groom both have had a divorce?
There is no need to highlight or make mention that you are having a second marriage, even if the woman has kept her married name after her divorce. Instead of using Miss or Ms. or Mr., just put the first and last names:
Mary Williams BryantandChristopher Johnstonrequest the honour of your presence
How do I word an invitation if the groom/bride or one of the parents have been in the military?
The family member that is currently or was in the military will usually have a preference of what they would like to be called. There are many ways to word an invitation with a member in the military. Please Contact Us.
How do I word an invitation if we do not want to receive gifts without saying, "No Gifts Please"?
It is never proper to mention gifts on the invitation, however if you feel it is necessary you may – On the bottom of the invitation, in smaller print, you can say, "Your presence is the only gift requested" or "Your presence is our present."
What are some examples for wording for RSVP cards?
Wording an RSVP card for a formal occasion:
The favour of a reply is requested by the first of May.
Or another example showing more warmth and emotion:
We look forward to having you join us
(Place for their name and an appropriate response)Kindly respond by the first of May
Wording an RSVP card for a less formal occasion:
Please respond by the fifth of MayorKindly respond by the fifth of May
Wording an RSVP card with an entrée selection. While it is not proper to list entrée selections on the RSVP card, today’s bride often requires it. A sample is shown below:
The favour of a reply is requestedby February thirdPlease indicate your entrée preference______ Chicken _______ Salmon ______Vegetarian
Some customers elect to use a place for the name and an indication of whether or not they will be able to attend.
M______________________will attend______unable to attendThe favour of a reply is requestedbefore the first of AprilorThe favour of a reply is requestedbefore the second of NovemberM________________will_________attend
A tip when sending out a RSVP card is to write a small number on the back of the card or the inside of the RSVP envelope in an inconspicuous area that is assigned to a person. People can forget to write their name on the card when replying, so the number is very helpful.
If more than one bridesmaid is throwing a party or shower, how do you word the invitation?
The hostesses are written in alphabetical order, unless it is hosted at one of the bridesmaids' houses; in that case, you would put their name first.
Baby
What information should I put on a birth announcement? Typically the baby's weight, name, date of birth, and parents and/or siblings names, are put on the announcement. Sometimes people include a picture of the baby, but that is optional.
When should birth announcements be sent out? Birth announcements should be sent out as soon as possible, but the latest should be 4 months post-birth. To make it easier on yourself, try to get the announcement picked out in advance, buy stamps, and make a list with addresses ready for those who are to receive the announcement - anything to make it easier once the baby arrives. William Arthur has an option to save your invitation, so once the baby arrives you can fill in any blanks on your order and submit it.
Do I send a photograph with my birth announcement? It is not necessary to send a photo with your birth announcement, however many people like to see the baby. Consider the size of the photo if you are enclosing one with the announcement as you will want it to fit in the envelope.
After receiving a gift, should I write a thank-you note from my newborn? Either way is appropriate, but some announcements come with optional thank you notes with the baby's name printed in the center of the foldover or at the top of the card.
How do I word announcements for multiple births?
An announcement for a multiple birth is worded as a single birth. The announcement should have each baby's name and weight. The parent's names and the date of birth are only written once. To make it easy to read, having the baby's names side by side is helpful. For example:
Our happiness has doubled!Caleb John Jennifer Amber6 pounds 5 ounces 6 pounds 3 ounces
June 24, 2004Jamie, Teddy, Michael and Michele Hawthorne
How do I word an announcement when I kept my maiden name or if there is only one parent? -
In the situation where there is a single or divorced parent, the mother or father should put whatever name they wish to be known by and the baby's first and last name if it is different than the parent's last name
When the mother kept her maiden name, write the father's first and last name, the mother's first and last name, and the baby's name including the last name that he/she is taking. Include the date of birth, but birth weight is optional.
Here is an example:
We are pleased to announce the birth of our daughterElisabeth Tiffany Johnson5 pounds 5 ouncesAugust 5, 2004Carol Queen and Barry Johnson
How do I word an announcement with unmarried or same sex couples? -
An announcement with unmarried or same sex couples can be worded just as a parent who is not changing her maiden name. Both the first and last names of the parents are included and the full name of the baby is also included. Be consistent with or without commas on pounds and ounces.
Victoria Amy Westhas arrivedNovember 2, 2004Seven pounds six ouncesRobert Nelson and Jacob West
How do I word an announcement for an adoption? -
Usually the adoptive parents know what information they want to announce; it is really up to the parents.
One option is to include the date that the baby was born, and the date that the baby was adopted.
Here is an example:
Frederick, Laura, and Julietake great pleasure in announcingthe adoption ofBenjamin Daniel Herbertborn on February 23, 2004welcomed into the family March 3, 2004
Holiday
How far in advance do I need to mail out my holiday cards? The earliest you should send them out is about one month in advance, and the latest they should be sent is a week before to ensure that it gets there before the holiday.
How do I word holiday cards so I do not offend people of different faiths?
You can find a card that is not specific to a religious holiday, we call them "generic cards" (get a card with a snowman rather than a Santa Claus).
Wording like "season's greetings", "happy holidays", "we wish you a happy holiday season, happiest of new years", or "have a happy, healthy new year" will not offend people of different faiths.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Invitations
There are several ways to word a Bar/Bat Mitzvah invitation.
Some suggestions include:
We invite you to share in our joywhen our daughterBrooke Annbecomes a Bat MitzvahSaturday, the sixteenth of MarchTwo thousand and sevenat half past ten in the morning (or ten-thirty in the morning)Washington Hebrew CongregationWashington, District of Columbia
Hannah and Joel Stedman orPlease join us as our daughterBrooke Annbecomes a Bat MitzvahorIt would be our pleasure to have you join uswhen our daughter becomes a Bat Mitzvah
How do I word a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Reception Card?
The wording for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Reception Card may read something like:
In honor of Brookethe celebration continues...Saturday evening at half past sevenFour SeasonsGeorgetownBlack tie
General
When should I send out invitations for an informal party (Cocktail, Birthday)? Three weeks to six weeks in advance should give people ample time. The part of the country where one resides and time of year can dictate the amount of notice given.
How quickly do I send thank-you notes after receiving a gift? A thank you should typically be sent out as soon as possible (about 3-6 days after a gift is received). For a wedding, a thank-you note should be written within two months of the receipt of the gift. A note written closer to the time of a gift received is always appreciated by a sender. Thank-you notes for a wedding should be started as soon as the first gift arrives so you don't get behind. If you have forgotten to send a thank-you, it is nice to send one with an apology for the delay.
What are the general rules for envelopes?
In general, for a return address, it looks best on a square envelope and a wallet flap envelope when it is printed across one line centered with a small bullet in the center to separate information. For example: 1234 Any Street ∙ Any Town, USA 12345
In general, for a return address, it looks best on a vertical flap envelope and a V-flap envelope if it is printed with breaks. Here is an example:
1234 Any StreetAny Town, USA 12345
A square envelope requires extra postage
Always check with the post office before mailing an invitation because of weight and size requirements.
When should I send out invitations for a formal party?
If the party involves guests making accommodations in advance, then invitations should be sent out two months before the party. If not, then invitations should be sent out at least a month in advance.
When do I use a foldover or correspondence card, lettersheets, note cards, and calling cards and for what occasion do I use them?
- A foldover note or card is used as a thank-you note.
- A calling card is typically used as a gift enclosure card.
- Lettersheets are used when you are writing a long letter.
- Note cards, flat cards or correspondence cards can be used when writing a note or as an invitation; this type of card has many usages.
- Should I include the start and end time to the party on the invitation? Yes, the start time is always given and at times it is necessary to give the end time. Guests may want to know an end time to facilitate driving arrangements. Our personal preference is to omit an end time unless it is essential.
- At what age should a child write their own thank-you notes? As soon as a child can start writing, they should write their own thank-you notes. Until then, a parent can write one for them. Once the child can write their own name they should sign the card for an extra personal touch.
- Should I order extra invitation envelopes? If you are having a calligrapher hand address or you are hand addressing the envelopes you may need 15-20% over your original order.
- Do I have to use a Regrets Only or RSVP on my invitation? It is up to personal preference whether to write "RSVP" or "Regrets Only" on an invitation. An RSVP allows a host to speak to those who are coming and those who are not coming. "Regrets Only" can be given if the host prefers. You can also use other phrasing such as Kindly or Please respond by a certain date.
- How quickly do I send a sympathy note? A sympathy note should be sent as soon as you find out about a death. It is never too late to send a sympathy note, but it is appropriate to apologize for not knowing or hearing about the death.
- How many invitations should I order? After your guest list is complete, allow at least fifteen extra invitations for error's and add-on's. Remember to order based on families or couples - not the number of people invited to the event. If you are planning on inviting 150 people, you may only need 100 invitations depending on the amount of families, singles and couples you are inviting.
- Do my thank-you-notes or informals have to match my invitations? Some invitations come with matching thank-you notes (informals) and some are not available. It's not necessary to have matching thank-you notes, but is more of a personal choice.
- Do I have to reply to an RSVP and does it have to be written? Anyone receiving an invitation with an RSVP card should reply. If a telephone number is given, then a telephone reply is fine, otherwise a reply written in third person should be given. A less formal way of responding would be in first person so you pick the way you're more comfortable with or it may depend on the formality of an event. If the invitation says "Regrets Only" you should not send or call an acceptance unless you have a question that you need to ask. If an invitation does not provide an RSVP or Regrets Only, then it may not be necessary to give a reply.
- How do I word an invitation if there is more than one host?
There is no rule about the order in which names of two or more hostesses should appear. The hostesses of the party can be written in alphabetical order, unless it is hosted at one of their houses; in that case, you would put their name first
If it is hosted by a business, then the hosts are listed in order of their rank.
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